Tuesday, June 29, 2004

The Rest

I'll breeze through the rest of the inmates of the "Asylum for the Mentally Challenged"

The Robot has a mechanical way about him. I will not poke fun at him. If it was not for him, I would not have got even pass marks in my Final Year Project in college.

The Perpetual Whiner has the whole world scheming against him. His colleagues, his old classmates, his friends, all of them. One typical complaint, "Guys, yesterday, I was walking down this road and I met this colleague of mine. He didn't say 'Hi'. Not only that, he turned and walked away too. Now that I wonder, my appraisal must have gone bad because this guy must have poisoned my boss's ears etc. blah.. blah.. blah..". All our consolations like "He must not have seen you", "He must have been preoccuppied" falls on deaf ears. Now for all we know, he might not know him even.

Bride Seeker has been in his quest for well over 3 years now. Still no luck.

Fear Factor is so fearful that if a guy in the neighbourhood is down with fever, he will go to the doctor for treatment for suspected typhoid, malaria, jaundice etc.

Lazy Lozenge is so lazy that if he has just done his shitting in a beach, he'll wait for the waves to come and wipe the shit off his ass.

Gentle Giant is an amiable giant who lives life righteously and is on the path to salvation.

District Committee was one of the influential political figures from college days. You throw so much as a wrong glance at him and he will have the party's district committee after you. After an MBA degree, now he has thrown the party's Proletarian policies to the wind and joined an MNC.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Seemingly Silent

Seemingly Silent is in Canada. He is supposed to have come back a few months ago. But always, miraculously (mind you), at the last moment his stay gets extended. The latest is, he is coming back on 28th. Well, I am not going to the airport to recieve him. First thing, he comes at odd hours, like 4:30 in the morning. You lose a good amount of sleep that way. Secondly, even if I get up by 4 am and reach airport by 4:30 am, I might get a call from Canada saying his stay has been extended. Believe me, after waiting for hours in the freezing cold in a singlet, such a call is not
what one looks forward to.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

The Patriot

Enough about friends. The point being, you are reading the blog of a very sane, "no-marbles-rolling-upstairs" kind of a guy.

Still I can't help this one. After the Romantic, the Wild Man from Borneo, the Bike-Push and the Great White Hope, Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you, the Patriot. What is so special in this, you might ask. Well, he is the first one after the great Mahatma Gandhi to have started the "Quit India" movement, or rather re-started. Whoa there.. wait a minute.. we thought the Britishers were peacefully sipping Indian tea and smoking India Kings in their colonial mansions back home in England, with only delusions of grandeur for company. Well, who said anything about the Britishers quitting India. Yes, milord. It is the Indians this time who have to quit India. Where to ?? The United Old States, where else ??

The Patriot has a ravenous appetite. You have to see it to believe it. Buckets of rice, disappearing in minutes. Chappathis being gobbled by the dozen.
He once said (It was more like an open question), "Guys, of late I am getting fatter, dunno why". We consoled him, "Dear, it must be the combined effects of the sudden climate change and the El Nino and the impending Iraq War. Don't you worry about it".

He is an avid trekker. The lazy guys in our usual trekking gang (includes me) usually forms a committee to veto the suggestions put forward by him. To tell you the truth, it not only makes our life easier, but makes his life easier too. Fact being, enthusiasm apart, he is just another pot-bellied not-fully-fit guy like us. (Ooops.. girls, please ignore the previous sentence).

More crazy friends

This guy has another obsession. He wants to be a caucasoid. Of course he knows that it is impossible to alter the bone structure etc., but he feels he can be white. a la Michael Jackson. From the brown Indian to the white American, or rather the White Indian. In fact he is so obsessed that, he has already spent a fortune on it. The result, well that is the sad part.

In the mean time, he started learning guitar. Self learning, mind you. After two years, he is now a guitar player. A good one at that. He has really learnt the ropes, or rather strings in this case. He once made me listen to Californication by Red Hot Chilli Peppers. Really good, I even exclaimed that this seems to be an unplugged version etc. Then I realized that it was recorded by him. Vocals, Lead, Base and Rhythm, all credit goes to the great white hope.

All said and done, he is one of the most brilliant people I have met on this planet. (I will tell you about my inter-planetary sojourns later).