Saturday, January 01, 2005

Another Year (To Look Forward To ?)

Happy New Year to all my readers. (If it is all my imagination please tell me so. I mean the "all my readers" part)

My New Year was a wee bit off-colour as I was on call. The quarter-end etc. But at the stroke of midnight, when the clock struck 13, I was there in my house with whatever was remaining of the gang. Bike Push, District Committee, Wild Man, Seemingly Silent and Casanova were present.

Perpetual Whiner was missing. He called up from his home to relate a cock and bull story of how he was unable to make it and stuff like that. He told us that he will explain in detail as to what happened once he lands in Bangalore on 2nd. To this day, he has not called us, let alone given us the explanation.

Saturday, December 25, 2004

The Scorpio Test Drive

Milwaukee Maestro and Perpetual Whiner came to my house one day. Milwaukee Maestro wanted to buy a Mahindra Scorpio badly. Of course he had to test-drive it first. Casanova and even the great Bike Push were also present. (I know it is a surprise, but yes. Bike Push decided one fine morning that he had to come and mee his old friends. Of course, he came in his Suzuki Samurai. Such mundane travel doesn't require the services of an RD-350.)

The 5 of us set out for the test drive. We got into a brand new Scorpio and got to Inner Ring Road. Here the driver gave the keys to Milwaukee Maestro. This guy started driving like a maniac, brake-testing quite a few vehicles on the way. Whiner and Casanova later told me that the middleseats were pretty comfortable, but Bike Push and I were hanging on for our dear lives. After taking a couple of rounds on Inner Ring Road, we reached back the show room. But, just when we thought that our ordeal was over, Maestro drove past the show room and famously exclaimed "I want to drive through a Bad Road". All that Milwaukee accent was difficult for us to comprehend, but we got the jist of it. Another roller coaster ride later we were back in the showroom. On the way back to my house, Maestro again exclaimed, "Life is Pond". Even after countless, interpretations and re-interpretations, to this day we have never been able to make out what he meant. Maybe, sometimes Life is indeed Pond.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

The Marriage

We all went for Bride Seeker's marriage. It was a really glamorous affair. Wild Man did not come as he had his own axes to grind. A certain soft spot towards a certain somebody who works with him and who was in a fix and needed help and so on and so forth. It took us almost an hour to get this out of his mouth, though.

Perpetual Whiner told us the details of how Bride Seeker finally managed to find a bride. This was the 27th proposal that came his way and already he had lost hope. With a receding hairline and advancing age, who wouldn't. Even we knew that his chances were slim, but of course we wouldn't tell him. But when he went to meet the 27th girl, the one on one interview lasted 3 hours (according to eye-witnesses). And it ended with Bride Seeker losing all hope. He called up Milwaukee Maestro, who was waiting for him at a hotel, and told him about it. But as they started packing for their return journey back to their home-town, the 27th girl called again and asked for another interview. Bride Seeker rushed to the spot, had another round, this time lasting 4 hours and clinched the deal.

Of course, it was a surprise for all of us, but what surprised us even more was that he chose to be smug about it. As if it was all in a days work.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

A Few More Knights of the Round Table

Milwaukee Maestro as the name suggests, was in Milwaukee for a long time and the people and culture there kinda rubbed off on him. We hardly understand the English when he speaks.

Otto von German, is an Indian who has visited Germany a couple of times. But he still speaks English with a distinctive South Indian accent. Otto as in auto-rickshaw. According to him, he was once mistaken as an Irish guy, but according to Bike Push that was in a guys only nightclub somewhere in Florida.

Firebrand Phoney was a firebrand in college, with leftist leanings. But a defeat in the elections put an end to his fire-breathing. He is now a total bourgeois, and even argues for the capitalists' sake. My my, times do change.

Army Man, has an interesting story. He was my colleague until recently. He checked out close to 20 prospective brides before he decided on the right one a la the Bride Seeker. And finally without going into details I would say, that, there was this army connection, and hence the name.

Casanova has a way with girls. At least he thinks so. I will not say anymore, as he is now engaged.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Sunshine on my Shoulders

The other day I went to a barber shop with Wild Man in tow. We gave the barber the shock of his life. Wild Man, realizing the situation, immediately told the barber that he had come for a shave and not a hair-cut. It was then that the barber started breathing easy.

The barber put some hair-clips (the kind that girls wear) on Wild Man's flowing locks, in order to get a direct access to his beard. It was truly a sight to behold. Wild Man sitting with his more-than-shoulder-length hair, neatly put on hold by two giant hair-clips. I choked down a laugh and looked around to see if anybody had noticed. Well, all of them were busy looking at the amazing spectacle.

Sun really did shine that day. The clouds had gone and the hitherto unseen parts of Wild Man's face glistened with sun rays.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Depleting Resources

Fear Factor too announced a week back that he was following the footsteps of the Patriot and quitting India. This is going to reduce our once mighty weekend gang of 15 to a mere 3. Just Wild Man, Seemingly Silent and Me. District Committee would drop in once in a while. Bike Push has his own axes or rather axles to grind. Robot is under strict diet control and his parents are here to enforce it. Lazy Lozenge is, well, you figure it out.

Robot and Bike Push are room-mates. But Bike Push hardly goes that way now-a-days for fear of Robot's parents. He usually sleeps in the house of Fear Factor, his old school chum. Now that Fear Factor is going, I have this uneasy, nagging feeling that he is going to pile on to us.

Bride Seeker finally managed to find a bride. He has not told this to us yet. Thanks to some excellent spy work by Perpetual Whiner, we are in the know. Seems he is gonna get married by November. He is waiting to surprise us with his wedding announcement soon. Hope he doesn't see this post before that.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

The Friendly Neighbourhood Gentleman

Patriot finally managed to quit India. He landed a job with a body shopper and flew off to dream land. This has made our weekend get together less entertaining. Patriot with his no nonsense attitude used to liven up the whole place. Many a times, Gentle Giant and Patriot had had arguments over God, Supreme Being etc. Well, these things go above my head, so I used to keep quiet. Usually the discussion ends at around 12:30 am in the night when our neighbour pounds our windows with a long stick. He usually yells "There is a bedroom out here, and people have to sleep". Profound words, if you ask me. People do have to sleep.

Our neighbour is an artist. There is no end to his plight, when it comes to unruly neighbours like us. Believe me, we do not want to hurt the poor guy in any way. But once in a while things get out of hand, as in these God discussions. One day he came up to me and threatened to call the police. We are kind of quiet after that.